Living as self

The changes and scars
Imprinted upon my form
Twisted and gnarled
Contextual flow
Freedom of expression
Caged by the fearful
The butt of thier neviousness
Flying free
Living with our differences
Toss asunder there retorts
Gaze at the light
Pitty thier foolishness
We are who we want too be
The world is our oyster
Fly and grow within the unbound
Be the best your abilities grow
Indifference is special
As are you

Hey you Guys

Today is a good day apart from the Neanderthal brigade. The selective wit and unintelligent boasts of those with fear.
I personally love the film “The Goonies” but am fed up with the comparisons to the character above. By the selected minority that think its funny and clever.
Yes I have facial deformities caused by multiple operations ect,but I am educated,traveled,kind,loving and accepting.
It perturbs and annoys me when narrow-mindedness is the norm and inquisitive nature of humanity is stifled by societies ignorance.
I have blindly live side by side with this since movie release by choice. As those that know me or have read my previous posts will know all to well.
Why does anyone have to be subjected to this in today’s society it’s beyond my comprehension especially from adult aged humans.
As soon as they are selected for retort or similar treatment they become aggressive in nature. Mmmm its strange how human nature works.
I write this not for sympathy but just to highlight yet again the stupidity of others. Who travel a narrow path of ignorant and un educated blindness.
If you for what ever reason are harangued or tormented by humanities eagits(idiots). Try this !!
Extend your middle finger and with pride say , I wear/have my scars/issues I wear with pride and carry the knowledge that I understand others failings and accept them.

NOW BUGGER OF AND LEAVE ME ALONE

oh and have the biggest smile and calm nature through the whole process.

Who’s The Tormentor

Did you notice
Do you hear the sound
Have you asked why
Did you try to help

Why didnt you speak
What stopped your action
Did you provide
Couldn’t you stop

Were you cause
Assistant to effect
Persecutor or tormentor
Did you cause the trauma

Abuse,torment,poverty and stress
Are pooled around us
Depravity cunning in discise
Costumed peers
Power hungerly evil
Wolfs in sheeps clothing

Open our eyes…….See
Unplug our ears……..hear
Never stifel curiosity……ask
Be humanitarian…….assist
Lead by example intervene

Hey You Guys too Yes Sir (The steps)

           ( we grow despite of it all)

On the 22nd of june 1990 I woke up checked my bags and headed for the station. Today was the first day of the rest of my life.
  I had passed my medical and physical accepted the Queens shilling and was heading too ATR (Army Training Regiment) Pirbright. Recruite Fothering ham Guards division,to turn this boy into a well teained fit member of Her Majesties Armed Forces.
  A 4+ hr Train Journey from Edinburgh Too London,through london and onto Surrey.

And then the Pleasure and Torture begins. Stripping of all Civillian traites and building of indavidual and team values that will save your life.
            14 weeks of being pushed,insulted,trained,run into the ground and constantly learning and marching.
  This was awesome I loved it eaven the bullying type behaviour used to break the Civillian attitude . Being able to turn negative into positive and my turmoil as a child this was easy. Onward and Upward step after step,trial after trial and picking up friends,awards and aclaim on the way.
  Having 70+ mates to fight your corner needed or not The Fozzy family exploded in number dailly.

  It wasnt all rosey I had times where it all got on top of me and I felt like giving up.
  But thanks tp my tormentors from my childhood this wasnt going to happen(EVER).
  Not even Meningitis on the 14 wk could derail my aytempt . It mearly changed the route and delayed the arrival.
  I was called all sorts of names (none new) pushed harder than ever,doubted by many,told by peers to give up pushed to snapping point by training officers dailly.
  But I never faultered or doubted myself even after the Meningitis (again boubt 4 in my life) I drove on.
A 10+ year career in the armed forces earning my Para wings,Feild medicine and Royal Marine Green Beret.
  

You have to strive every day to improve through life. Untill all avenues are followed  “No” is not an option.
  In life doubters and haters exist (fact) learning how to cope and utilise are (imperative)
Follow your dreams select your own path and only take possitives with you leave negativity behind..

I know these things are hard and people are different but I would say that hearts and blood are the same. And in someway Drive has to be used and found by all in some way.

Talking Too Myself

In the room full of joy
Rapture flows from girl and boy
Chatting ,Laughing, googing off
Oblivious to the world around
  Ask a question to looks and stares
Quantified by silence in the air
No retort or utterance made just as if nothing was said

Joining in with the fun around all the faces look too the ground
  Not a look, glance or a stare to acknowledge the fact they know I’m there
   Shouting at the top of my voice echo’s around with out a choice
  Still no flicker of emotional pace no smile or frown apon a face

Is it worth this battle of mine , to speak the words and be held in time
  I am not a dummy , pupper or mute There are feelings inside the scars of the brute
  Heart and soul nobody see just scars on the face and normalities tears
  Sit in the corner all on my own , Party for one as I Talk To Myself

Proud too be Who I am

Born 1st August 1974 with a complex disfigurement of the skull. Similar to a cleft palate but in my forehead. My eyes were positioned round towards my ears, a 4″ inch ravean in my forehead,2 bumps positioned on my eyebrow line just above my nose. And my nose was the same length as the width of an average thumb.

From the age of 7 1982 I started a long and winding set of Maxifacial operations. Performed at the Southern General Hospital Glasgow,by the same team as Operated on the boy David from Brazil. Apart from Dr Thomson who adopted david.
  The first Operation was a 18 and a half hours on the operating table. 27 days recovery in intensive care and 4 further weeks on the childrens ward. A further 50+ operations followed untill the age of 14 1988.
  Bullied daily because I was different and people were scared of the unknown. Daily repetative name calling,pushing,shoving and worse. Where I grew up you either fought back got strong,or curled up and gave in.
  

Yes I stood out in the crowd and I was the odd man out. But hey how amazing can that be !! , let me explain , I have an inbuilt story. Mother nature dealt me this oddity aswell as strong mental ability , broad shoulders and a stubborn streak. I had and still do have an answer for everything,sence of humour and determination to prove people wrong.
  Yes the daily battle was painful,depressing,hurtful,questionable,distroying but charactor building, drive building, powerful,Spiritual and friendship building. I know all too well that it is hard and people children especially are cruel and petty. Yes even now at nearly 40 I still get strange looks name calling ect.

Here is the best part I have served my country 10+ years as Guardsman and Marine , been a NHS Nurse , Coached sport at all levels,qualified as a Physio,personal Trainer, Traveled 3 quarters of the world and got married with 4 gorgious children. There is a brighter side to all the anguish and hurt.
  And I know everyone is different but we are also the same I chose to make my victimisation work for me instead of putting me down. I rose up and grew into who I am now
This Strong,polite,personable,educated and grounded person. I personally am thankful to all my bullies,doubters and haters Family,enemy or stranger alike.
  You are and always have been the wind in the sails of this great ship that has sailed above and beyond that of most of your lives. I have no regrets or hang ups at all yes I am hard on myself and sometimes put myself down too much (some who may read this know this well) but I am here and doing things my way despite it all ;).

PLEASE ANYONE BEING PERSICUTED OR BULLIED BY OTHERS SEEK HELP
(Talk to someone deal with you first ignore and become deaf to the doubters and haters) Rise like the Pheneix and show your guiding light.