Posts Tagged ‘Strength’

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

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Twisted lying still

Innards shift and tumble

Crimson red rises

Spewing like molten lava flows

Exuding weakness and frailty

Tears fall to the ground

Like glass beads scattered below

 emotions lost and bewildered 

Mentally destroyed scarred forever

One individual against life

Can it rise and develope once more

With nurturing and tending

It’s soul will be reborn 

Like a planet scorched by flames

It regenerates in time and flourishes again

Seeds hidden frailties gone

That strength renewed better than before

Stronger, taller with lessons learned

Take on all demons and hater to bare

Advancing
From the valley
Enriched and alive
We stronger than ever arise
Greater than before
Ritchie because of darkness
Elevated to higher ground
Always looking and listening
Tantalising society
Manafesting or future
Envocing emotional ploys
Never decending back too darkness

Strength of a thousand armies
Knowledge of a world of books
Shoulders broad enough too carry all
Heart stronger than life itself
Hands strong with gentleness
But he is only one
He can not do everything at once
He will love you till the ends of time
Follow you through the universe
Constantly call you princess
And treat you as a goddess
He is fragile, he is meek, he is attentive
So take care not too break him
He will disapear
Disintegrating before your eyes
And poof he will be gone
And only the shadow left too cling too
In your hopeless abandonment

Yeah that’s right
You forced me too the ground
Raised my head
Took a breath
And stared you in the eyes
With fortitude and strength of mind
I raised my body up
With the support of limbs
And heart of steel
I defeated you once again

I yes me
That mark upon you sole
Freshly pressed
With one swift stamp
Dehydrated and flattened
Carried on your path
Beware the puddles that you splash
Rehydration and enlivening soul

As I grow
I will throw you off
Your balance and throw you asunder
Sprouting wings head held high
Carrying on my way
Acheiving all set afore me
Bettering your idiolistic mire
Reaching places yet to be seen
Watching you scurry below
Your ant like form
A change off pose
Inherritated from your bile

Dance with self

Posted: December 23, 2015 in Random
Tags: , , , ,

Cavort with the soul
Dance with your ego
Live as yourself
Contempt of lives
Means too an end
Forging alliances with self
Shelved emotions
Parted with at the door
Until your departure
Then conformation of likeness
Too societies acceptance
Praise the brave
Who singularly are themselves
Despite the preasures
From exterior forces surrounding them

Sodden head to toe
Watching the moisture creep up the walls
Funiture floating towards the door
Tears pour down
Ripples of sadness whirl round
Memories and life
All washed away
Never to be regained or seen again
Mother nature warns us all
Reminds us of her power
And disregard for all
Rescued by boats evacuated out
By Emargancy services brave and true
My town is an island
The district awashed by deluges unknown
Months worth of precipitation in hours not days
The streams and the rivers
Burst viens and artery arays
Tides went against us oh god my days
Waiting for recession of waters and such
To rebuild our lives,villages and such
Roads have been washed out
Bridges are lost,victims of landslides,rivers in flood
Our region will rise like the phoenix from flame
Bring us your tourism to enlighten the flame
Business as usual despite of the mess
Strength of our nature a nations best

Peer through the haze
Wipe the sleep from your eyes
Pull back the curtains
With sparkle in your eyes

See not dark dim days
But opportunities coming your way
Stir your cup evigourate life
Fuel yourself for the day ahead

Set foot out the door
Welcome the light
Make purposeful strides on your way
Purchase your papers
With a joyful hello

Spring in the steps
A song in your head
Life ouzes freely from deep inside
Sunlight breaks
Darkness scuttles away

Here comes our brighter day
Tasks fall completed
Appointments and meetings
Fly effortlessly by
Twinkle in your eyes
With strength of pose

Soon to be homeward bound
Work is done no loose ends
Spritefully jaunting down the road
Chatting and sharing as we pass the time
Too our safety and comfort of home we bound
Racing the darkness as night cases on

In cosy comfort we lavish self
Warm welcoming cuppa
Oven warming our culinary  fare
Heating at steady lights set too dim
The crackle of logs and embers ablaze

Peace hath decended
Relaxation acheived
A good book and music
Cleansing the soul
Racing towards slumber
Duvet snuggles of love
Fights with our pillows
Never to be won