Archive for September, 2016

HOW DO YOU COPE” 

This is the question for today ,…..  

I am asked this daily too many times too count….. The answer is normal answer is …. I just don’t let it spoil my day.

I have a pain threshold that is way above normal parameters,” I have in the past walked 2+ miles with the full effects of Memgicocal meningitis” then a further 20 yards to the medical center explained what was wrong and what allergies I had before hitting the floor. On contact with the carpet my muscles relaxed and my whole body shakes. So I can cope with high levels of pain…. And if I say it’s sore or hurts it actually is very serious stages. After 40 years I have learned too manage and understand this very well.

My sence of humour is warped,fast and contagious, and my thought process is pro active not depressive. There is always a happy glow and smile on my face (even if the worst has happened or the day is really bad). Then I was blessed with strong broad shoulders that carry any hardship with ease. Personal drive too succeed and achieve,early bird catches the worm mentality. Strong heart that powers my frame ,educated , alert and active mind. Positive and realistic outlook on life and well lit path before me. 

It’s not an easy thing to pull off at all , fortunately I was born of hard stuff from strong natured DNA stock. But I have also had to graft and work hard on the combinations of this package. “Coping with bullies,insults,discrimination,pre conceptions,un educated,disrespect and generally scared people.” Still too this day people still try and dispose thier opinion on my look and intelligence.

I just walk away most of the time,but have put people in thier place verbally and realistically leaving them diminished and ashamed. Now being 6ft4 really helps and in the word of Billy Connely (I look more like a mugger than a mug E ). All achieved by time,work,polishing and most of all pride. 

Society is generally nosey and inquisitive,but also ashamedly un educated and ignorant. Inclusion is not part of life thanks too generation’s of installed prejudice and hate . Whether it’s colour,race,religion,disability,orientation or look these have been established over decade and melenia. It is the job of present generation’s to kick start the re education of the future too accept and understand.

Now I know that the above doesn’t resemble everyone but it is a large majority of society. I know a large section of people that are not tarnished by this. And accept ,ask and learn, we all come from the same cloth.  I don’t care for the above  indiscretion at all personality,brains and humour matter far more.

Your own inner strength is your beauty and determination drives you and inspires others to follow. 

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Haiku

Posted: September 30, 2016 in Random
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Golden rays break 

Silence shattered 

Seasons change freely

Arts Freedoms

Posted: September 29, 2016 in Random
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Scribbles on a page

Incoherent and visionless spear

Doodle tactic scraps gather

Inlaid and purified darkens edge

Clarity transfuses before optically set

Pixilateded and fragmentational satire

Brush over pen inclusion of opinion

Mater pieces exploded with colourific splendour 

Contemporary,natural or new age

You choose your strokes breath life

Swirl or flick in anyone direction defines your set

Less is more beauty is unclassified

The inevitability of societies behaviours

Captured on canvass burnt embers set forever

Charcoal dusts , occurs hew the true run of water colour

As with lyricists writings art is freedoms chariot

Dazzle the lyricist 

Pugulist of linguistic provocation

Sheets strewn across the floor

Pages bleeding written utterances

Diction detectives clueless agility

Dictionaries burn with scripted speed

Ink like molten lava etched every letter deep

Correspondences spew freely with ease

Contemplation of moods bewildered and blended

Simili and proes subliminally appear

Cascading from mind to page seamless

Attention to details oblivious 

Time flies past without care

The writer immersed in the flow

Letters stories and poetry make

The weapon and cure for all eventualities

Days feel like minutes,hours like seconds

Misty minded darkness covers all

The smile and fassade weaken 

Tiredness consumes energy faster daily

Those close seem too patronize instead of comfort

Daily tools lag and drag me down

Breathing is a chore simplicity eludes me

Inner strengths hide chortling gayley 

It’s raining outside nature crys too

Hiding the tracks of my own tears

Trying to comfort me in it’s own sadness

Why doesn’t anyone know what too do

Where has the real me gone

Alone in my busy household I sit

Screaming in silence struggling to hold back fear and pain

The light is further away down this never ending tunnel

Train has stalled to far from either end

No energy to stride it out

Once coveted solitude is now my prison

Dark ,dimming existence of the disheveled 

Battle of minds existence.. ……. thoughts

Hop…step…skip…hop

Leap of faith toss the stone

Destiny falls on your path

Behold the wonder before you

Grasp the life given

Make the subtle changes needed

And ride the path as if you own it

You make life worth living

Take the supplies and people necessary

Challenge yourself and rise high

Your worth is insurmountable and priceless

Life is a game of hop scotch go win it

Yes it’s raining 

Liquid sunshine from above

The mountain peaks are shrouded Gray

There are rivers in streets 

Water at play
Waterproof clothing sturdy boots

Appropriate items packed and secure

Off we set one foot afore the other

Many gems to discover

Issolated tarns skree shelved slopes

Wildlife sheltering close
Herdie sheep huddle close 

Tourist scuttle too and grow

Shops are buzzing country clear

Out in the open is where I’ll be

Freedom from drudgery day to day strain

Lungs full of clean air wind in my hair
This is the life

Peace and serendipity 

We have choices to lead or follow

Break with the norm and explore your region

This cumbrian life is my salvation

Spinning tops and building blocks

Calydascopes of colour fall

Cars and vans in traffic jams

Dolls on the floor prams galore

Finger painting and messy clay fun

Shooting bubbles from a gun

Scooters zip and wheels spin

Time and again we skip and run

Balls of energy bouncing round

Do thier feet touch the ground

Silence falls investigate

Fast asleep where they played

Life is fun and full of joy

Child’s play to those who know

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

Home

Posted: September 26, 2016 in Random
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Walking down cobbled streets

The stone built houses meet and greet

Tudor ,Gorgian and Victorian too

Seamlessly mixed contented as new

Stroll up the hill through the groves

To be met by hills,fells and more

No matter the weather there is always things too do

The life of a town in the country heart

No stress just relaxation from the start

No happier home have I found

The gateway too the lakes is where it’s at

People come and people go but this is home for ever more