Posts Tagged ‘bullied’

I never wondered where I would be,walking the routes laid for me.
Soaking up the information torrented and imported too my mental store.
Scribbling and noting the starred icons of gold
Tested by self and civilities quests learning too walk and examinations at school
I grow day by day despite of it all taller, wiser and stronger than most.

With contorted features and boggly eye
I stride towards the future with sparkle in my eye
Taking on challenges in every stride
Man made or natural they fall by the side
From strength too strength I charge at light speed
Not dragging my feet with depressive need

With surgeon’s knife and medical aide
My contorted expressions change on my face
Battered and bruised inside and out
I clatter on regardless free of doubt
Knocking me down with your verbilisations or physical charge
Enpowers my nature leading the charge

Through the halls of education and employment i advance
Striking at chances with two strong hands
From home town too deserts I have traveled with joy
Been stacking shelves and throwing bombs
I have love for this planet and the people within
Because of my personality and power within

Too all who have wavered and set road blocks for me
Thanks for the challanges and tasks set by thee
They strengthen my resolve Enpowers my will
They keep me above you with my comfort and skill
I come out at the end complete and bitter free
What have your choices left deep for thee

In reflections repost I praise and idolise
The poor fearful society that tried to repress me
They failed in thier tasks enbittered thier hearts
And most of all lost thier god given right
Bullies and tormentors never do win
If with belief in your self and strong mind,will and heart.

To all in the world down trodden and scared
Stand strong for your future and belief there in
Follow your path cut new routes of your own
Listen and learn avoiding the falls
Thiers only one thing that matters in your own worldly place
Doing your best with love,passion and grace

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You told them lies
I cried myself too sleep
I smiled every morning
Hiding fear so deep
I raised the bar every day
Ran the gauntlet
Fought all in my way
Took the hits from those unseen
Placed them in boxes
Never too be seen
Took strides to rise
High out of this putrid mirk
Sense of humour cheeky smirk
With fists of steel
Quick wits and fast thought
Days grew quicker
And tormentors turned
You still doubted my strengths
Putting me down
Lying to those aged above
Spreading your lies
And fairytale spin
This inperfect person
Born under your skin
Driven too acheive despite of it all
Praying that parents would stop the free fall
Years flew past and incidents cause
Blame was clearly laid at the wrong door
Your perfection mard
By your own stuborn ways
And the glaring imperfections
In the things you did say
Glass shattered around you
From that day too this
Constant reminders of dual standard bliss
Stronger than you in every way
Wiser and smarter I grew day by day
As a parent strong and respected be
Be proud of the fact I am me and not thee
Loving all children the same as the first
In thier own perfections
No matter thier cases
Unfaltering assistance
Without condition is Dailly at play

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Hey Ugly is the cry
Four eyed Freak they laugh
Hey You Guys” the film referance
Here’s the punch ,the kick aggression shows
Pushed from piller to post and carpet rolled
Differance is the fear if the normal
Propelled by ignorance and blindness
Here I find that place safe
Solitary seat of calm
Deep in my head controled
Body numb as strike after strike falls
Red mist gathers thick
Muscles twitch and fists clentch
But safe here alone mental calm
Controlless of actions
Targets aquired as silent assasin glares
Dark opake windows emotiveless
Control given in my place
Release the assasin or stay at peace

The tormented beast once calm
   Has the instinct of hunter, protector
Negates control whe necessity calls
Clears ground and targets abound
From sanities safety numb but clear
  Striking out through fear and anger
Trembling and swetting pure terrors wine

   

Bullied

Posted: August 17, 2014 in Random
Tags: , , , , , ,

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Raising up
With confidant air
Adornd in finery
Brushed up clean
Tasks for the day
Things meant to be

Hey you there
Who do you think you are
Dare you breath
The air next too me
Disfigured and weird
Alien race
Get of the pavement
Hide your disgrace

Dipping of head
Deteriation of soul
Displacing  of feelings
Fear starts to take hold
Want to run
Escape is the plan
Dipresive state close at hand

Grotesk of nature
Elephant man
We’ll make you listen
And do as we ask
By verbal abusiveness
Or violence by hand
We the true people
Will execute the plan

Tears start to flow
The river it flows
Shaking and qwivering
Down to my toes
Rooted to the spot
Blood drains too my feet
Numbness dulls
The beating I take

Take this you freak
Scaring the kids
punch,whack and shove
Baseball bat from above
Kick too the legs
Head chest and ribs
Human football
Come take a kick

Curled in a ball
Prone on the floor
Life seeping freely
Around me it flows
Loud the cracks
Of every shot
When will this torture stop
Names and profanity
Ring loud in my ears
Longer grows my list of fears

Dont let us catch you
Around here again
Next time no warning
And worse it will be
People like you
Should be shot at birth
No where near normal
You belong in the zoo
Get up you scum
Get out of here
Dont call the cops
Every move we can see

Crawl,scrape and limping
Time standing still
Cuts on my body
Open to the world
Stares more intense
Pointing and names
No samaratans to be found
As I pull along the ground
Screaming in silence
Pain racks my brain

Strength of survival
Wains from my heart
Day in and day out
Always the same
Curled in my corner
Safe and alone
Taking the time
To heal, breath and feel
Doors stay locked
Curtains shut
Rock in my chair
Broken and hurt
Is there freedom
Choices I can make
Friends or support could be to late

This is not existance
The way that I feel
No one knows with what I deal
Scared to talk
Not sure they would listen
I am alone
In societies prison
Death row inmate
Waiting in line
Where is understanding
Love,compassion and life

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           ( we grow despite of it all)

On the 22nd of june 1990 I woke up checked my bags and headed for the station. Today was the first day of the rest of my life.
  I had passed my medical and physical accepted the Queens shilling and was heading too ATR (Army Training Regiment) Pirbright. Recruite Fothering ham Guards division,to turn this boy into a well teained fit member of Her Majesties Armed Forces.
  A 4+ hr Train Journey from Edinburgh Too London,through london and onto Surrey.
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And then the Pleasure and Torture begins. Stripping of all Civillian traites and building of indavidual and team values that will save your life.
            14 weeks of being pushed,insulted,trained,run into the ground and constantly learning and marching.
  This was awesome I loved it eaven the bullying type behaviour used to break the Civillian attitude . Being able to turn negative into positive and my turmoil as a child this was easy. Onward and Upward step after step,trial after trial and picking up friends,awards and aclaim on the way.
  Having 70+ mates to fight your corner needed or not The Fozzy family exploded in number dailly.

  It wasnt all rosey I had times where it all got on top of me and I felt like giving up.
  But thanks tp my tormentors from my childhood this wasnt going to happen(EVER).
  Not even Meningitis on the 14 wk could derail my aytempt . It mearly changed the route and delayed the arrival.
  I was called all sorts of names (none new) pushed harder than ever,doubted by many,told by peers to give up pushed to snapping point by training officers dailly.
  But I never faultered or doubted myself even after the Meningitis (again boubt 4 in my life) I drove on.
A 10+ year career in the armed forces earning my Para wings,Feild medicine and Royal Marine Green Beret.
  
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You have to strive every day to improve through life. Untill all avenues are followed  “No” is not an option.
  In life doubters and haters exist (fact) learning how to cope and utilise are (imperative)
Follow your dreams select your own path and only take possitives with you leave negativity behind..

I know these things are hard and people are different but I would say that hearts and blood are the same. And in someway Drive has to be used and found by all in some way.