Posts Tagged ‘mentality’

Staring at the looking Glass

The figure dim looks back

The sullen look features  drooped

No sparkle in the eyes

Sagging skin and contorted format

Changes beyond belief

That sparkle gone and spark put out

No sign of life within

Its astounding how it’s all locked down

And hidden from plain sight

Grasping and fighting to get it back

A battle fought on an hourly round

That smile under pinned and replaced by frowns

The mask adorned as I step out the door

A sterling job is done

For those I see don’t find the real me

As they smile and joke along

Oh how I miss that tender me

Hidden deep inside

I know my strength and personable hew

Will return with a flash and bang

But the waiting kills a part of me 

With every second that pass

The sympathy of others just seems 

Too pound in another nail 

Oh how demoralising can it be 

To see that coffin built

No I am not physically dying

Just the fire inside

So don’t morn or cry for me

Look for the heart inside

Trundling across the tracks,clickity clack

Destination end of the line

Wind howls rain batters down

The sea is wild throwing the Forth asunder

Crashing and cascading through the mighty girders

White horses batter the line

The journey ends at the ferry

Delay till calm returns once more

The chill shatters the core of all

Soaked too the core complete

Dreak and damp sullen gray

The matted form of everything

No sunlight or rays of hope 

Huddled safe on this dipressive state

Awaiting the releif that light does bring

The journey of life is a stormy afair

Head held high
Eyes looking forward
Striding through life
Clearing all hurdles
Breaking down walls
Battling foes
Bannishing darkness where ever it grows
The guiding light and warrior brave
The meek and mild servant
Who journey along
This is not bravery
Only the fight
That burns deep inside me
Producing the power of right
Through Turmoils and pains
Growing ever stronger
Live in the shadows no way any longer
These choices are hard
But critical to all for we are survivors
That battle away
For fairer and brighter days for all

I dread failing
I strive to be the best I can
I fear you make the mistakes I did
I teach you right from wrong
Learned through the year
By being strong enough too take the chances
I lead by example
Scattering crumbs for you too follow
Neon and bright heavy enough to stay put
I fear you are blind too my help
I cringe to think I am not good enough
I take the blame for all indiscretions
Because the ones that should are not strong enough
I fear nothing that happens to me or is brought to my door
Looking into your eyes lost and searching
Answering every call at break neck speed
To save you everytime you fall
I am that punchbag for all your hate and pain
I fear you will fall and I can’t catch you
My only fear is leaving you Un prepared and naked
Too the devilishness of humanity
And not being thier to pull you through
Don’t live in my fear please fly free
Be the best you can be
Without me beside you grow fast learn hard
Never fear I will always love you and be thier for you

Consolidation
Introverted respect
Proposal of mentality
Clarity of individualism
Selective confusions polarity
Whirlwind of emotiveness
Displaying
Reactional stammers
Void of naturalisation
Confusion reigns supreme
Whirring mind
Races and skips
Steps missed
Blurred reality touched
Scattered mind set
Escaped memories hide
I am a depressive
A person born
Shunned by you all
Because of fear
I shake uncontrolled
And hide within myself
Screaming too be me

image

Thoughtless it seems
Disenchanted with life
Negative balance on thoughts saved
Hollow and void of mechanics
The case sullen gray and lifeless
Opake windows misty and vague
Form limp lays slumped in place

They know not the battles
No one sees the waring factions
Dark mirky mists cloud all around
Outsiders laugh and point
Tattling about thier opinions
Louder and louder
Spreading thier bile and septic thoughts
No one stops to think
Nor reassurances hand laid down
Where is the conform and splice

Reality and passions
Tumble and roll
Punch after punch thrown
Screams and moans the only sound
Never heard or seen
Scars internal mount up
External preasures build
Family,tasks,work and self
Plummet by the wayside
Blame firmly placed on self

Where is the solitude
The freedom of civility
And joy of normalities pleasure
Who stole our smile
The light from our eyes
And hope from our dreams
The sun does it shine
Has the world been thrown into darkness
Or is it just me
Pass me the light
Send the lifeline of peace
No longer can we select the path
Choice has fled our sanity

We the warriors
Don’t fear the dark
But strive Dailly for light and peace
The civilised routes and pleasures
So no one has to suffer our pain alone
Support and comfort
Are our swords gilten edges
Our armour is our safety zone
We ware it with pride
Because of necessity and preservation
The wars victory will be ours
No matter the time or sacrafices

In the depths of dispare
I dwell in its squaller
Sullen and grey
Passified by pain and torture
Medicated too oblivion
Family and friends
Cast thier gaze over my living shell
Masked smile animamatronic nod of head
Robotic steps one after the other
Dipressive and fearful
I huddle in my tight ball
No enemy or friend can break through
How is this deamed survival
A note or tune
Strikes a match within
Fires egnite burning slow
Higher and higher there energies rise
Colour Emblazen my flesh
Emotion returns to my motion
Stick in hand I stride
Head held high I fight
Concealment no longer my domain
Exterior function returns
The look of amazement and wonder
Clearly Visable on all the faces
Surrounding me
Pitty falls from grace exchanged for pride
This inner light continues to burn
Fed by heart,friendship and determination
I am the light the mobilizations
The fight is continual
Victories many as the war is faught
The guiding light consumes

Set me free
Too spread my wings
Soaring high within the clouds
Acheiving the highest
Ability will allow
Living dreams and being me
Free from your tiraids and abuse
Lifted higher than you would allow
Unbound and complete
Without shame or fear
Being me and running with the crowd
The guiding light I should be
Dealing only with fate
And making my own path

Genetically resembling a number
Inferiorities bound
Holding mentality hostage
Confusion reigns supreme
Visually you resemble your years
Inwardly you continually battle
Disfunction of miss represented truth
Contortion of genetisisms
Growth stifled and slow
Education jigsaw like
Inferior imperfections shine
Believe in yourself
Fight at the forefront
Medicated slowness
Contemptual abrassions
Societies lackluster grasp of reality
Break the mold and rise
Mind of the lost
Who is to judge you
Self worths perpetual motion

Yes I am alive
The mirky grey consumes
The crimson ache illuminates
Solitude in the throngs around
Indemnity against humanity
Fog mists the brain
Eyes sullen with crimson flashes
Deprived of sleep
Restless against the norm
Walking on glass no confirmation
Stomach twisted and tight
Hunched and screaming
Silent utterances aloud to the masses

These are my demons carried Dailly
Without notification
Others bewildered and annoyed
Forming stories and opinions
Never knowing the truth
Ideals conception less
Against my being
Understanding lacking from most
Those in the know assist
Allowing for visual conditions
But the mind is alone in the battle
Cloaked by medical evils
Numbed by the concoctions of drugs
Demons party in my frame
United against my existence
These are mine they ate me
But this warrior survives and exists
To the fullest of ability
Dumbfounding the so called experts

We the afflicted rise
Emblazen trails for others
Drawn weapons strength of mind
The battles won Dailly
During this autrition of war