Archive for January, 2014

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Why do people give different areas of the human race grief. From school to old age the people who are different or not normal are ridiculed.
You could be in a wheelchair or autistic have a facial disfigurement or speech problem. And society has it bred into it that poking fun and making people’s life miserable.
I have suffered first hand at these twisted people and still do on occasion.

Yes I look different,my facial features are different and I have a lot of scars on my face.
I know now some of my bullies really well.And some have imparted why they were bullies and why I was a victim.
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A lot of the problems comes from not knowing what to do or say. The education to understand what is said about the problem.
And the compassion and patience to understand the situation surrounding the behaviours and outbursts.
predominant fear of the unknown and the social in bread acceptance that bullying happens. And conceptive stupidity that they can break these victims and play them like a game.
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The above is true most bullied people mental,physical or psychological. I personally know it oh too well from 4-14 I wore that mask well.
Tools needed to escape the spiral, wicked sence of humour,an outlet to vent frustration, strong will and determination with thick skin and fortitude.
On many occasions I would used witty retorts and jokes. Turn rounds and knowledge to twist there taunts to my favour. Mental strength to take on what has been said but control it and use it for your own advantage.
None of these things are easy I know many years of practice got me to where I am today. Many tears,hurt,fear and turmoil went my way. But I am here and living proof that it can work,bullies can be beaten and you can still be the best you can be !!.
School was definatley the worst time as kids are cruel. Then I joined the Armed Forces yup set myself up for even more hard times.
The strength gained from my early years drove me to my passing out parade and 10+ years of service.

Dont be scared to talk to adults about what is going on. Please don’t let their uneducated words break your will. Hold your head up high and fight for your space on the path . You have as much right if not more to walk this path and succeed than anyone .

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Will You Join my Mission?

Posted: January 30, 2014 in Random

As a parent of a child diagnosed finally with adhd and autism this is a confirming eye opener please rwad

anewperspectiveperhaps

I have personally taken on the responsibility to educate everyone I can around me about Attention Deficit Disorder Inattentive Type. This is the one type that goes unnoticed, mislabeled and undiscovered the most. Do you know 35% ok kids with ADD do not ever graduate from high school? It is my personal mission to do all I can to make sure no more kids fall through the cracks. Will you make it yours? I wrote this post almost a year ago but thought now, that I have a whole new set of followers, I would share it again. Please spread the word. A child’s self esteem depends on it. This is our story…

OUR LONG ROAD TO DISCOVERING ADD

There is nothing more guilt provoking than a teacher staring into your face and telling you that you make too many excuses for your child. Imagine sitting in a chair, believing…

View original post 1,567 more words

Who Is Behind The Mask (my life) part3

Posted: January 26, 2014 in Random

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Well operation number one done !!, recovery well on the way. Two weeks at home and the bandages start coming off.First is the bandage turban revealing a scar that crosses my skull from ear to ear, small spots parallel along it where the Staples had been (342). Along with the best shaved head I had ever seen .
Half way along the scar line is a dip in the skull which hasn’t quite healed properly leaving a change in hight from front to middle. It has also forced the hairline back about 2-3 inches.
Neatly adding to the first ever scar forming a cheese wedge type scar and segmentation of the skin .
The eye socket area is slightly larger than usual and one cheek bone is higher than the other as part of the socket set.
My nose is around 3 inches longer than at start will be even better once the swelling completely goes. The colours in my face are amazing a full painters pallet of mixed colours from pale yellow too dark purple and black.

The bullies have started again a well here it goes. E.T,Alien,Four Eyes ,Freak and many more. Again and again on a daily basis. Pointing, laughing and whispering a daily occurence.
Pinning my smile on my face and holding my head up high . Walking down the street with an answer for them all faster harder and quicker every time.
Quite a few are changing their minds and starting to get bored . it is taking a lot of fortitude to keep it up. Shutting my door and crying some days once home .
Not even my Parents realise how hard it is or what is going on. These operations are a fix all for them,as if the determined will give up !!!.
More stitches out and the scars checked total stitches so far 300 . Feeling stronger every day doing my home study. I received a mass of cards hand-made from the school . Everyone has made and written their own get well message.
This is a Major step and confidence builder without thinking or trying. Popping in to say hi to everyone real soon miss them all.

So my days consist of walks with mum , home study, day time tv and rest . Roll on going back to normality and school.
It still hurts and scars are tender but its worth it so far £150 Get Well money from family and friends . Many trips to the Jolly Giant probably the largest toy store in britain .And feeling more confident and relaxed in myself.

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The return to school was fast paced but enjoyable , less bullying and more support from my peers. This is good just hope the rest of the world takes note.
That is too much to ask but not disheartened at all the support is better and I really don’t care what people say.

Back to full normality and getting stronger and more stubborn every day.        More and more people hating the fact that I am around and still happy.
Far more joining the friend band wagon and socially I am getting more respect whoo hoo ;). The next 7/8 months are much the same Personally growing stronger. Proving doubters wrong and changing opinions all the time .
First appointment back in Glasgow with the team. Oh god hope it’s all went to their plan !!!. As I sit in the waiting room heart starts to pound palms swet and I feel sick. Here we go my name is called let’s go meet the construction squad. As I walk in the room it is filled with smiling faces and everyone shakes my hand. So I assume it has all gone well, and thankfully I am right.
Although the next Operation idea is wheeled out , I don’t like it but let’s get on with it . Only two months too wait and not as long this time.
This was the start of 58 minor/major operations to tidy up the edges as they put it.
Through all of the varying time scales and severity of surgery,my sense of humour and confidence shine through . Picking up more friends and admirers on the way.
The bullies and haters still do their thing but friendships grow stronger and deeper. New and old alike things are looking up . The transition from Primary to secondary education is relatively seamless.
The Brian’s new-found confidence , height and sence of humour are winning the day . Catching up well with missed work every time. Keeping well instep even though each year 3-4 months off during term. Untill I was 13 when I had my final operation, and even I think the look is great all considered.
The next year was actually quite deadly as due to my operations there is a minute hole left in the membrane between nasal passages and brain.
In the June of that year after a great mornings swimming.I suddenly have the headache from hell , puffy eyes and sore muscles.
Yeah like all of us the start of a cold !!!!! , Well we were all wrong it was “Meningitis”. As I throw up and start to burn up(to touch) , even though I am freezing and shivery,can’t look at bright light ir bend/move my neck or shoulders.
Rushed to Ninewells Hospital Dundee scaring my parents and grand parents to death. 3 lumbar punctures and 2 days later I end up conscious and on the ward.
Feeling miles better and able to stand and move my neck. The three weeks of recovery begin. Wow what the hell was that and why me. Another 2 lumbar punctures and immune system booster I get to leave the hospital.
Straight back to normal and off we go this shouldnt happen again.
While on holiday in Shropshire in the July I went swimming daily diving and sprinting through the water.
This particular evening my Aunt and Grandad take me for a meal , which was amazing Stake Diane followed by a large slice of Black forest Gataue and cream.
After bed I fly off the top bunk bed throw up and pass out , high temperature shaking and overtion to bright light. Yeah ring any bells , you guessed it Meningitis again, off I go to the Shropshire General hospital.
2 and a half weeks  of the recovery process in a Victorian hospital building up a great medical knowledge and little collection of pretty nurses to write too .
As you can see confidence is high despite the hold ups in normal service. Oh and building a very good grasp of hospital food across Brittain.
Things return to normal and back at school slowly creeping towards November. While competing for the school in swimming I take part in the 100m crawl,breaststroke 200 butterfly and 400 individual and team medley.
While resting at home my head feels tight and skin stretched/taught. Off I go to bed and sleep, a short time after that I awaken rush to the toilet throw up and hit the floor . I wake up on a gurney heading for the City Hospital Edinburgh, lucky white heather I have meningitis again.
Thankfully after this everything settles and apart from one more minor operation that is the end of the operations for now.
All the maxifacial operations I can deal with I can’t take anymore . I am done happy enough with the results and couldn’t care what people think.
The way I look now has arrived and aint gonna change for anyone or any reason.

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Now I can motor on with rest of my life study hard and play hard. On the school Rugby,Hockey,Basketball and Athletics teams. Catching up well academically and I have a brilliant Social network.
The new approach and look seems to be paying dividends for me, might well have been Upsetting,hard,painful and something I really wasnt sure about. But it also goes to prove that with the right mental attitude and personable approaches anything can be done.
Joining the Armed Forces at 16 is very plausible even though the doubters are saying because of my face I wont be accepted !!!.

Who is behind the Mask (My Life) part2

Posted: January 24, 2014 in Random

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This journey to Glasgow seemed the longest ever. Instead of 45 mins it seemed to take hours. There it is The Southern General Hospital !!! butterflies ,sweaty palms and feeling sick . Oh I really don’t want to do this ( Mummy I want to go home) !! “the tears start and fear sets in !!!. Dad parks the car and the slowest walk I have ever done (Death March style) starts. Now I am shaking and quivering all puffy eyed through crying I check in.
Guided by my parents we head to the ward. Welcome Brian let’s get you settled in ( oh yeah lets) “Not”. A long large ward of 4 beds and that smell oh how I hate it.
My mum by my side (you will be fine let’s get your stuff unpacked)”cheers”.       Get comfortable and we will go take a look round “she said” !!! wow a tv room and games area oo I might like this bit.
( Brian could you go back to the ward) oh ok so we slowly head bk to bay 6 , on my return Brian we need a blood sample from you !!!!. The hackles went up and my body tensed , I really didn’t like needles what so ever !!!. A few moments later in strolled a doctor brandishing the needle kit !!, we will be taking blood from you know. (oh yeah you think so) as I hyper ventilate ,shake and kick and scream !!!!. In steps Dad holding me face towards his chest arm out. Relax you will be ok is the advice ( well to be honest I don’t believe you ) is the thought process !! seconds pass and its all done . I relax and return to normality instantly, a nurse pops in and asks what I want for tea.
Dinner was cool Pie chips and beans with jelly and ice-cream to follow. Mum and Dad return only another hour or so of visiting left to go. A few games of cards and a jigsaw how time flies.
Well this 7-year-old aint happy Mum and Dad are leaving !!! I am stuck here in the hospital !!.
Yes bonus tv and tea and toast cards with the nurses and then bed.
Two days of poking and prodding in preparation for the operation. The night before I am Nil by mouth from 7pm  (omg I have never not eaten for that long) I will die !!
1 am and yup I am wide awake doing jigsaw and drawing a nurse appears cup of tea and dry toast (Brian). Yes please if I am allowed!! “yes” woop yum consumed slowly and enjoyed :).
6am I am awoken to get bathed and prepped for surgery. Paper gown and another pre med as still not drowsy.     Then 8 am arrived and I was wheeled down to the operating theater,(shaking,crying and feeling sick) I enter the sleepy doctors room.
Gas was the prefered method as scared of needles fighter pilot Fotheringham 1,2,3………7…….8………………………… zzzz

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Eighteen hours later I emerge into intensive care.Groggie and out of it on multiple machines and wires and tubes everywhere.
Mum and Dad were brought in and day after day hour after hour for 4-5 days they come and go phoning from home ect and receiving updates from the ward.
The best day in their mind was one in peticular , As they were reading out the Get Well Soon cards they mentioned that an aunt had sent a some of money for me to spend and all heart monitors ect went haywire. Nursing staff were delighted at this as was a major sign of consciousness . From that day full recovery began machines got switched of and I rapidly became fully human again.

(What The Operation Entailed)

There was a piece of bone removed from my skull 5″ at the front (from between where my eyes now sit) too 0″ at the back (near the nape of the neck),Left eye was moved forward 2 and a half inches the other 2 inches and my nose was lengthened and one of the protrusions on my forehead removed. My eye sockets were also built up.

There were another 8-10 weeks of recovery on the children’s ward. By now I had made myself at home assisting the younger patients when upset and having fun with all my fellow in mates.
We even made up a hostage story about the hospital and how the baked beans and patients saved the hospital and killed all the invaders ( baked beans were a staple with nearly every meal) and we were fed up of them to be honest.
On release from hospital I left with bandages over my skull,Plaster cast on my nose,swelling and black and blue from forehead to jaw ( if that was present day I would have looked like a tortured Taliban) .
There was 12-16 weeks of recovery at home walking about and getting called the elephant boy and all the usual but I didn’t care confidence was high life had changed. Armed with confidence and sence of humour the Brian of present day was well on the way.
The final part of this story will take us from 8 years too around 16-18, and the continued struggle but great improvement in the look,confidence and life of Brian (not the monty python sketch).

The Provider of future Tools

Posted: January 23, 2014 in Random

Today I was asked what I brought to the world !!!!

At Present I am a Provider and Trainer of tools and there uses for a better future.
This baffled the poor interviewer untill I explained.
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Most of the population have been brought up on various misconceptions.
Whether it is the correct foods to eat,amounts and when to have food.               Then they are told how to exercise by their peers and adults most passing on bad habits as the law of how to do !!! .

When I pass on information to anyone it is tailored to the individual and there goals or aims. Teaching them how to change the thought processes they have around Food,Exercise,lifestyle and how they perceive it.
This then gives them the tools to enact change and make strides for better outcomes,(plant a seed and mighty oaks will grow) true in anything in life.
Being preached to by any academic or expert can be detrimental to both involved. As the information passed on gets taken as boring and forced changed. And the “Expert” eventually loses a client or student.
If the correct information is passed on and quantified by visual explanation and proof. Then progressed to the next level showing changes and possible outcomes.
Both individual’s learn and gain confidence and experience.This then grows respect and relationship within the realm of the teaching/training.

As a Client this brings you back to learn more and gain support .From the view of the teacher/trainer you have natural progression and subject understanding as well as good client-trainer confidence and respect.

If anyone wants advice or info follow Fozzyfitness , I will be only to glad to help. Nutrition,fitness,injury treatment/prevention

Who is behind the Mask (my life)

Posted: January 10, 2014 in Random

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I am Brian Fotheringham and this wonderful journey starts in 1974. The first of August 0700 Edinburgh. An amazing event happened I arrived in the world.
Born with a deep cleft in my forehead two bone lumps above my nose situated at start of where my eye brows should be.
And my eye’s were situated round towards my ears .

The pediatricians and E N T surgeons had never seen anything like this before but told my Parents that at around 18 months they would operate to have a look and see what could be done.
Which my parents were delighted, the 18 months passed with the usual embarising sleep suites ect, D-day came round and I was taken into hospital for a few days.
The surgeons opened me up with an incision from right ear to left ear over the top of my skull,And quickly closed it up again.
I was blissfully unaware of any issues till around the age of 4/5 years old.
Yeah the wonderful world that is School, filled with Bullies, Name Calling, joke makers and general fear of the unknown.
From every angle school was very uncomfortable , from leaving home to return. Needles to say I was classed as aggressive and anxious by some teachers (But medically nothing could be found).
Names such as ET, four eye’s ect were the daily norm aswell as freak mongo so on so forth. And some used to physically pick on me which know I laugh at (being 6ft 4inch 186 lbs and a former British Marine Commando).
Around 6 years old I asked my parents if anything could be done and the conveyor belt of the rest of my life begins.
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1979:As I was nervously sitting in a hospital waiting room in Edinburgh, unknown too me the first appointment of hundreds that would change my life. The Specialist admitted that at this time the knowledge was not around in Edinburgh to carry out such procedures, however there was a group of surgeons in Glasgow that could do what was necessary. This group of surgeons had re built a young boys from Brazil’s face after specialist there could not do it. The young boy was called David and had been born without a face and Dr Thomson and his team had performed many surgeries to rebuild his face.
This was encouraging to a 6/7-year-old boy fed up of all the hassles and ridicule that he was going through daily, even though I did not understand the full gravity of the situation.
Three months later we were off on route to the Southern General Hospital Glasgow for the first appointment, arriving about 45 mins early as usual we checked in grabbed a quick bite to eat then took our seats in the waiting area. As we sat down my name was called and we were ushered into the consulting room. As I sat in the dentist like chair surrounded by strange faces and them talking about me as if I wasn’t there. The appointment seemed to take over an hour , but 20 minutes or so we emerged from the consulting room everything set in place and the next 4/5 appointments set out and booked in.

Now on the conveyor belt of test,X-rays,photographs and appointments that were to take place over the next year as Operation date was provisionally pencilled in for July of that year. The daily attack of bullies and idiots tried even harder it seemed to break my spirit and make me a prisoner of my own miss fortune. I had built up great defences to all things even as young as I was with my sense of humour and physical ability there was nothing standing in my way, it was said by many that I had a (Don’t Give A Fck) attitude. This and friends old and new got me through anything and the surprise was that a few of the bullies and tormentors had become really close friends and are to this day.
After a very traumatic and busy year the date for the operation was quickly upon me , the week before I was treated to anything I wanted by friends and family and the best was seeing the Harlem Globe Trotters play in Edinburgh and the announcement played out live on radio the morning of the dreaded Day.

Loaded into the car we were of on what to me seemed like a slow long drive to Glasgow.