Posts Tagged ‘ability’

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

Trapped

Posted: September 25, 2016 in Random
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Within my casket 

Enclosed and trapped 

In the darkness of pains rule

Breaking free with the power of word

Lyrically embellishing pages 

For others enjoyment and perusal 

Releasing feelings and words un said

Freedom from this solitude and smirk

Emblazend light of normality

Warms and comforts the twisted soul

Warrior brave humanities gain

Oh how freedom enlightens the soul

Flow

Posted: April 25, 2016 in Random
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Tumble and dash

Cascading with a splash

Pebbles and rocks

Crash and rumble

Ebb and flow

Sea word flow

Salmon and trout

Play about

Sheltered by trees

On way to the sea

Gurgle and murmur

Crashing like thunder

Escaping land

With freedoms sigh

Seaward glances wave goodbye

Only a concept
Born by desire
Shooting through life
Flying higher and higher
Acheiving goals laying waste to challenges
The burning desire
To grow so bold
From the fire we cascade
Burning embers full of life
Energised and ready to go
Watch out world here we go

Deliverance

Posted: January 27, 2016 in Random
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Awaiting the charge
From actions taken
Deposed by societies blame
Criminalised by defaults setting
Being self at all times
Treading the path of choice
No guidance or persuasions led
The deliverance of truth and outcomes
Faith in abilities
Fruits born of achievements
Devoid of societies gaze
This is the true deliverance
Of self worth’s tireless work
Belief and hard work
Wins the battles and wars ahead

I yes me
That mark upon you sole
Freshly pressed
With one swift stamp
Dehydrated and flattened
Carried on your path
Beware the puddles that you splash
Rehydration and enlivening soul

As I grow
I will throw you off
Your balance and throw you asunder
Sprouting wings head held high
Carrying on my way
Acheiving all set afore me
Bettering your idiolistic mire
Reaching places yet to be seen
Watching you scurry below
Your ant like form
A change off pose
Inherritated from your bile

image

I have a protector
A gardian angel
She travels in far of lands
Born from different stock
Matched only by our spirit
She has many different names
And Crosses many seas
She knows not what she does
Or why she means so much
I feel her Pressance
I hear her words clear
From liking my work
To shielding my life
I honour her with my support
And the acheivements I obtain
Most of all by being me
Our spirits as one we are strong

Peer through the haze
Wipe the sleep from your eyes
Pull back the curtains
With sparkle in your eyes

See not dark dim days
But opportunities coming your way
Stir your cup evigourate life
Fuel yourself for the day ahead

Set foot out the door
Welcome the light
Make purposeful strides on your way
Purchase your papers
With a joyful hello

Spring in the steps
A song in your head
Life ouzes freely from deep inside
Sunlight breaks
Darkness scuttles away

Here comes our brighter day
Tasks fall completed
Appointments and meetings
Fly effortlessly by
Twinkle in your eyes
With strength of pose

Soon to be homeward bound
Work is done no loose ends
Spritefully jaunting down the road
Chatting and sharing as we pass the time
Too our safety and comfort of home we bound
Racing the darkness as night cases on

In cosy comfort we lavish self
Warm welcoming cuppa
Oven warming our culinary  fare
Heating at steady lights set too dim
The crackle of logs and embers ablaze

Peace hath decended
Relaxation acheived
A good book and music
Cleansing the soul
Racing towards slumber
Duvet snuggles of love
Fights with our pillows
Never to be won

Lying still and quiet
Consealed by nature
Targets on the move
Watching and learning
Notes taken weather judged
At one with my hole
Evasion mastered routes mapped
Numbers counted escape planned
Miniscule movements
Positions planned
Radio silence all is calm
Days and nights
Minutes and hours
Waiting silently for our time
Targets jotted
Ears are pricked
Hightend emotions coiled like spring
Control of breathing
Closing fast
Slow compression of metal
Process starts
Explosion of energy
Propulsion begins
Cutting through the air
With message of silence
Wispering wind
Target slumps in his place
Stillness is key
Detections a fail
Delivery of Wispering wind
Extraction point A
Motions are go
Slow and subtle
Careful as I go
No emotion or regret
Job is done
Taxi ordered on our way home
Nobody sees us
No sound is made
The procurement of death
Is our job lot

Indavidualism

Posted: October 23, 2015 in Random
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Swithering indecisive convulsion
Changing the abilities path
Training utilised above everything
Common sence delivered
Rules followed
Parity retained truelly
Indavidualism is not a ruler
It is a difinition of worth
A self choice
Of outcomes and pathways
I am me not a robotic clone
Being me irratates and mires
But spreads joy to Dailly tasks
Make for interest and elaboration
Of the compliances
I am myself I follow my own path