Posts Tagged ‘winner’

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

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Dug in and still
Motionless and silent
Target aquired vectors set in
Spotter watches and calculates
Awaiting orders times and dates
Society moves and carries on
Unaware of anything peace at a glance
Lock and load
Breathing adjusted
Weapon on point no time too worry
Gentle squeeze upon the trigger
Progectile on route
With its silent whisper
Hit dead on slumped too the floor
On lookers flustered
Bewildered and shocked
The silent assisin doing his work

Spotter gathers info from afar
Motionless and silent
Hidden from sight
Under cover of darkness
Sure footed and cloaked
Moving with precision
Away from our nest
Searchers are out there
Trying to find
And peace together the events and time
Extraction point alpha
Vectored and marked
Digging in till our taxi arrives
Daylight comes and passes slow
Darkness our friend has away too go

Nerves all on edge
Sences Hightend and sharp
Time ticks by slowly
Enemy at large
Waiting still dug in deep
No sound not even a peep
Radio silence markers set
Time and patients heaven sent
Darkness it falls
Covering with a veil
Rescue is inbound
Silent in flight
Extracted and safe on our way home
Sniper and spotter
Breath sighs of releaf

Set me free
Too spread my wings
Soaring high within the clouds
Acheiving the highest
Ability will allow
Living dreams and being me
Free from your tiraids and abuse
Lifted higher than you would allow
Unbound and complete
Without shame or fear
Being me and running with the crowd
The guiding light I should be
Dealing only with fate
And making my own path