Posts Tagged ‘turmoil’


Thoughts run deep
Turmoil and joy entangled
Life speeds by
Consepts and reality jostle
Mind races as thoughts spiral
Depressive lowness quells
The joyfulness of lifes journey
Alone and cold in meek reality
Selections choicefull accelerations

Waiting for the spark
To kindle actions and vitality

Waiting for the comforts glow
To enwrap and engulf the soul

Waiting for the dark to vannish
And free the warmth and light

Waiting for social recognition
Bannishing the woes and evils face

Eternally bannish in solitude
Constantly Waiting for ………………


In dispares lap we nestle alone and confronted by fears

Mists of regret and confussion engulf or sanctity within

Wracked with pain,longing and turmoil we search for freedoms gate

Seeking help from all sources we scream as loud as we can

The dipressions fog mutes any sound ommitted from our soul

Seperation from humanity takes a stranglehold of lifes energy

Drained and nulified we limply slump deeper into solitudes dipressiveness

The costumes and masks we wear dipict serenity and happiness

Confusing and deceptive windows that society sees through

Thoughts of the end and journey too peace fill our heads

Knives in hands and nooses around necks we fill contemplations cup

Taking pills from the cupboard we count and watch

Dark mired soulless vessel dipicting the light sincere loathing of self

Nobody comes the assistance required invisible and gone

What can we do but sit here and scream louder and louder

Then silence falls deafening and final
is this how it ends alone and dark


Humanities interventions
Colossal constructions of distructure
Devistation of naturalisations
Shifting advances spiral
Lands laid waist and contorted
Nature lost or entraped and tortured
By wind,water,earth or fire
Mother nature stikes back
Devistatingly without warning
Returning humanity to its roots
Shocking and pillaging societies conceptions
Putting pay to technological and humantory advance
Raising awareness off discrepancies
Taking back what rightly belongs
No freedom fighter or charity
Nor govermental action
Truely containd the emotive power
Transedance that planitary flux
And natures true ferocity


Stumbling along feeling my way
The blackness of despare envellopes
Stifeling and choking my self esteam
Filling my heart with the cement of sorrow
Unworthy,ugly and unloved I am drawn deeper into the shadow
Abused and bullied at every station
No light for me,no dawn of a new day

How can I stay,no fight left
Opake and translusant skin Clamy too touch
Constantly shivering ,hiding away
Daren’t look anyone in the eye
As distane and hatred spews from there gaze
Pitty the emotive pressance sent my way

The weather report says 18 degrees
Why is it dark and freezing to me
Desheveld and gaunt in shabby cloths
No helpful assistance friends to behold
Silent screams,dry rivers of tears
Confiding in Jack,burbon and beers
Surrounded by people but all alone

Contimplation of death brings a smile to my face
Disapearing for ever from the rat race
No mourners of sorrow or family dear
No one would miss me or nitice I fear
The tormentors and abuser would smile with delight
At the demise of this sad an sorryful sight

I embrace you oh darkness
My friend for these years
I have forgiven my doubter,haters and theivs
Adorning new clothes bright like sun light.
I rise up out these ashes and taken too flight
Regeneration and acceptence of self
Is sustaining the power itself
Onwards and upward is my battle cry
Farewell Jack,burbon and beer


Why do people give different areas of the human race grief. From school to old age the people who are different or not normal are ridiculed.
You could be in a wheelchair or autistic have a facial disfigurement or speech problem. And society has it bred into it that poking fun and making people’s life miserable.
I have suffered first hand at these twisted people and still do on occasion.

Yes I look different,my facial features are different and I have a lot of scars on my face.
I know now some of my bullies really well.And some have imparted why they were bullies and why I was a victim.

A lot of the problems comes from not knowing what to do or say. The education to understand what is said about the problem.
And the compassion and patience to understand the situation surrounding the behaviours and outbursts.
predominant fear of the unknown and the social in bread acceptance that bullying happens. And conceptive stupidity that they can break these victims and play them like a game.

The above is true most bullied people mental,physical or psychological. I personally know it oh too well from 4-14 I wore that mask well.
Tools needed to escape the spiral, wicked sence of humour,an outlet to vent frustration, strong will and determination with thick skin and fortitude.
On many occasions I would used witty retorts and jokes. Turn rounds and knowledge to twist there taunts to my favour. Mental strength to take on what has been said but control it and use it for your own advantage.
None of these things are easy I know many years of practice got me to where I am today. Many tears,hurt,fear and turmoil went my way. But I am here and living proof that it can work,bullies can be beaten and you can still be the best you can be !!.
School was definatley the worst time as kids are cruel. Then I joined the Armed Forces yup set myself up for even more hard times.
The strength gained from my early years drove me to my passing out parade and 10+ years of service.

Dont be scared to talk to adults about what is going on. Please don’t let their uneducated words break your will. Hold your head up high and fight for your space on the path . You have as much right if not more to walk this path and succeed than anyone .