Posts Tagged ‘surgery’

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

Trudgery abound
Wheeled between pillar and post
Tubed and prodded
Rolled and turned
Quizzed and questioned
Smiles and frowns clear
Scratching of heads seen
Stiched,stapled and bandaged
Body thrown through traumas unknown
Blood let and drugged to the eyeballs
This is the form of the patients day
Guinea Pig of the state
For science and medical advance
No care to your career or advancement
Time is thier to waste to acheive
Rules flouted and actions delayed
We the cadaver told to be patient
Relax and recover
What about the person or the family
No care given at all

Mother nature dealt the cards
A mask of iron solidly cast
Too show a front
To be socially adept
And not scare the children
Who are Unaware
Time rolled on without a task
Name calling and ridicule
Were my Dailly soup
Untill one day the mirror laughed
It didn’t crack or run a mile
Mother nature struck her blow
Tossing the mask too and frow
Dropping down too the floor
Too look at my suprise
No batted eyes from passers by
Not a wiper or a moan
My own name I hear more and more
So natural change
Personality by the pale
New horizons let’s set sail

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All the masks
Hide the smiles
Wheeled through corridors
For miles and miles
Into pre op
For sleep inducing

Mask strapped on
1,2,3,4,….5,……6…..7………….
Trundled through
Placed on the table
Meet for carving
Heart beat stable

Area marked
With Felt tip pencil
Insisions lined
Prepare the patient
Inserted lines and monitor cable
The thwack of gloves
Surgeons able

Scalple cuts
Like knife through butter
Clamps in place
Bring on the cutter
Whirring blade
Of dimond edge
Here is he cutting his hedge

An hour or two
Too monitor closley
Moniters beep
Lights a flashing
Resperator pumps
The air it flows
The actions done
We never know

Clamps removed
Sutures done
Skin stiched up
By seamstress one
Staples clapped
To pull it tight
To recovery know for the night

Family come at visiting time
Lyinging wired up
To the national grid
Beep and blip
Flash and buzz
Flicker of eye lid
Twitch of finger
Do they run or stand and linger

Another night of watchful gaze
To see responces on the face
Morning cones
And to the worlds suprise
There are two big blue eyes
Raise the fluids
The prompt at once
To start the journey
Of getting up

Operations are tentative times
No matter what they are
But I thank the wonders
Off medical Science
And each and every indavidual
That worked together
To pull me through
And Make me who I am
They are never praised enough

THANK YOU ONE AND ALL