Posts Tagged ‘story’

Many of my first blogs were about my life and struggles with bullies and miss conceptions. The processes and journeys made by myself and surgery awell as the determination to succeed.

This is an update if you like….. my operations from 35 years ago have decided to collapse.Yeah you have read right !!!, my face from forehead to jaw line has been built on a wire mesh (chicken wire) like stuff. And for reasons best known too others it has collapsed and twisted.

 My nose has dropped around 4 inches , eye socket has shifted and high cheek bone around socket flattened out. I now have a ridge in my palate on the roof of my mouth and the entire physiology of my skull has been affected. The shifting of the above has worsened my Fybro Myralga symptoms and created others as well.

I am presently under Maxi Facial clinic in Newcastle 9+ months and no further forward. No medical records have been obtained and it’s taken 8+ months for photos to be taken. The consultant in charge doesn’t seem to have a clue what too do. And is not following the NHS’s own process or procedures properly.

I am very aware that the type of surgery I have had and that I require is very specialised and dare I say it rare.But there are processes and procedures to be followed and we would be a lot further followed. I know this because I am a qualified nurse as well as 40 years experience of my condition and surgeries.

Because of this I am having to apply for a Personal independence Plan (pip) which is a government based benefit for disabilities. Now you can’t see the damage or symptoms mostly internal and physical . So some in aware specialist without appropriate will have to decide my fate.

I was a very popular and busy personal trainer but die to this issue a)It’s not safe to be lifting weights and taking classes (b) the symptoms are causing severe issues  (c) pain and discomfort as well as anxiety and distress. All of which put working,Walking and social activities on a back burner.

I write this not for sympathy but awareness for others, I know I will get there and be bk too 100% soon enough. But there are people out there that are not able too see past there difficulties as easily. Please please please stay strong and be yourself at all times. These things are sent too test us and not define us. I am a proud father of 4 , ex  Scots  Guard,Nurse,Coach and Personal trainer.I write poetry and stories , trying to inspire others along the way as well as bring my children up the best way possible. I am not my face or condition I just sometimes have too stop and take a rest then go again when able.

We the Warriors will win the battles wars are events to over come by adapting they can and will be conquered.

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Advancing
From the valley
Enriched and alive
We stronger than ever arise
Greater than before
Ritchie because of darkness
Elevated to higher ground
Always looking and listening
Tantalising society
Manafesting or future
Envocing emotional ploys
Never decending back too darkness

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Tick tock whir
The internal sound
Ideas collide like neutrons at play
Facts and figures
Jump with glee
Stories and fables
Truth and lies
Leaking forward before my eyes
Etched and scribbled
Typed into print
Words Un noticed
Rhythmically spin
Word and sentence
Paragraph and phrase
Lyrical gymnast
Pages too grace
From poetry to story
The power does flow
Powered by images
Imaginative prose
For my selfish pleasure
And others repose
This Is my foil
Escapism and heart

Letters all
Combine to make word
Strings of words equate too sentence
Placement of sentence
Collectively form a paragraph

Flowing from the pen
Like blood from a wound
Spewing onto the once blank page
Story formulated from imagination
Stanza’s form charactors grow
Lives and events unfold
Journey takes us
Imaginatively onwards
Thrust head long
Emersed in the whole

Scribbles and etchings
Formulations combine
Proof reading of ideals
Printing at press
Editorial interludes
Conformed and binded
Book and spines rigidity
Author at last
Published for public honour

Signings and views
Shelve upon shelve
Book sellers and agents
Country wide
Pervayor of literature
Standing a gop
First faze and intersection
Flies out the door
My words are accepted
By the learned and wise

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In to storms we sail
Determind
Reaching our destinations
Acheiving goals at hand
Trimming sails
Traveling on the wind
Storms blow hard
Waves try to crush us
As emotive flies
Stuck to the deck
As insects to paper
Mother nature tries to quash us
Horses 6 foot high
Thunder on the fabric around us
Our vessel tossed and thrown
Too and frow
With our life jackets firm
We cling on for our lives
Staring ourselves onwards
Terrified and shaken
We qwiver
Driven by our determinations
We battle on
No storm or darkness
Can last forever
Power on to the lighter sky
Golden gilt edged clouds
Barely visible in the distance
Tantalise and tease
Gifting hope
Of calm a reward of survival

Day after day
Night onto night
We the crew in life
Tend our craft
Seamanship tested to the full
Fortitude and endevours
Questioned and remarked
Supplies and sustanance drawn
Searching for ports
To wait out our storm
Being one with the mirk
Seasoned well by the sea
A meal tenderised by the storm
Prepared feast plated
Ready for service
The patrons of the deep
Seated and ready
For the service of sustanance
But we battle hard
Steering true
Onwards we go faith in hand
The good ship stays fast
It’s crew take heart
Fight and pull together
Stronger by the day
At last the golden glow
Sun peeks through
An oasis in the dark
Birds apear a song so sweat
Hearts are lifted
Bodies and compartments
Dry and warmed
Life is easier
Even though precarious
Living on knifes edge of hope
Land is bright
On our chart
Hope of visualisation grows
Fight grows stronger in us
Our port and safety
Is closer we lust for confirmation
That glimpse of civility
Mother nature tries to teach
Reminding us we are meer tenants
She rules and governs us
Harsh and peaceful all at once
Returning balance to everything
Land oh how you are beauty
We speed closer
Smiles on faces colour in skin
Humanity survived
Strength and humility
Joy floods our soul
Seas calming brightness Shrouds
Molly coded and comforts
Rewarding us for our attentions
Delivery back to the living
Pride envelops us
Acheivement fills our core
Praise of life glow of joy
Happiness returns
Piloted through the break
Guided and delivered
Returned to our communities breast
Families gather
Banners waved tears fall frealy
We return victorious and humble
Better personages because of our trials
Home safe once more
The balance and eb
In our control for now
Ship moored safe and true
Bobbing gently against the jetty
The world smiles with us
As we walk home
Hand in hand with our parity
Alive and well blessed and free

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The world preys on the week is in printed on your soul.From birth we strive to achieve, the outcomes of our social expectancy. I am “Broydra” born to the family Fraynal first son of Crantlo and Mayas. Village protectors and chiefs of several generations.
The village consists of straw and mud huts surrounding out temple and stone clad abode (where my family reside). Set behind the statue of Garvinal the great (Dragon) and all his glory.
Once a protector and friend of early rulers and dwellers of this area. He kept an eye on all and saw off all evils and raiders alike. I have been told of many stories of greatness and endeavour in Days passed by my kin and their watchers.
And one day our protector will show himself to a lucky member and we shall live in harmony and unity. Free from all ills in a life filled with joy.

What will our protector look like ?, will it be small or huge ? Fierce or friendly or will it fly or walk who knows ?. These are all things pre determined by fate if the teachings and stories are correct. I can only wonder and wait , while I pray it’s sooner rather than later. These thoughts constantly fill my head as I wonder the surrounding area and learn the laws of the land.
My knowledge maker Harmeron is a very wise and wonderful man. Strong as several oxen and tall as any tree, with a strange scared mark on his scalp. This is never mentioned or spoken by others and leaves my imagination too run wild.
Very fertile and amazing by all accounts from the other youngsters who sit and listen to my fairy tales and stories. Around the village fire at night fall we spin yarns and sing while others dance. These times are the best as all in the village gather and catch up on the days events. The elders and hunters spin their yarns and contemplate the outcomes to be .

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Alone and walking through the dark shrouded hovels of this deshevald town. Shutters drawn tight glimpses of flickering candle light peeking from thier edges. Boots and leggings plastered with mud as I drag myself homeward. Waifs and strays litter the ally ways danger lurking in the shadows hidden from societies gaze. It’s only yards to the door but feels like hundreds of miles. The rain beats down and wind howls and blows with icy fingers slapping any bare flesh, making the atmosphere eirie and daunting.Fear hangs heavy on my heart as my pace quickens,as much as these conditions allow.
  At last my front door,drawing it open the warmth of the open fire meets me.Filling the air with tempered welcoming caress, dragging me in defrosting my body and soul and thawing the innerds. Wrenching the sodden over coat from my shoulders tossing it upon the hook pinned to the door. Towel drying my hair and face I fill the cast iron kettle and hang it above the fire. Pull up my rocking chair I squelch down on its well moulded seat. Stripping of my second skin tight shirt and draping it over the fire side bench. The heat invigorates my damp,frozen skin as the colour slowly returns with every second. I pour myself a warming cup of nettle tea and mix my gruel and dates scattered through it.
The wooden bowl welcoming and comforting as it clasps with love the heart warming goodness smiling up at me .
Just as I rest my copper handled spoon back in the cradle of the bowl the door is thrown wildly open. Filling it’s frame now was Algran the captain of the guard and towns protector. Falbraf he screeches, I need to talk too you about a very disturbing matter. Oh Ok (sigh) what’s happened and who has rustled your feathers . Come in and shut the door,pull up a chair. Nettle tea ?, now let’s see what I can do too help.

The northern outpost has been raided by hooded unknowns. All supplies taken dwellings destroyed and women and children captured. What of the garrisoned men , I asked , All killed or badly injured. They have just been carted in through the gates by Malkin the trader.
What sort of weapons were used ? And is there any information that can be gleemed from other injuries?. Skallins has never seen the like before in his 60 years , and wants you too cast your eyes over them and see what you think.
I am no worrior or surgion “I grumbled” but I will come down and cast my eye over the carnage.
Grabbing clean attire and boots tossing them on and grabbing my already dry coat off we went marching towards the main hall.
Pushing open the sodden oak door we entered the hall.Bodies strewn all around tended too by Skallins and his daughters. There were many varied injuries from weird slash like marks to contorted limbs hanging by sinues. “My god” I exclaimed what beasts ravaged these poor souls. Algran gulped I have never seen this before, colour draining from his face. I am away to check the perimeter I will be back soon.
Skallins wanders through the devistation Falbraf my good friend how are you. Your wealth of experience and worldly knowledge may come in useful know. I am only the inn keeper, this is my lively hood and personage. The past indiscretions and travels bare no standing with me. How can I be of service at this time.
Please cast an eye over these poor souls then I will show you the strange things we have found that were brought in with them.
Slowly and carefully I wandered round each casualty taking note of every bruise,cut,scar and mark on their bodies. My heart beating faster with every individual, flashbacks and memories hidden once more flood my mind.
These are not normal weapon marks I exclaimed, there are no consitancies with any armoured brigade I have ever had the pleasure of dealing with. What oddities were brought with these pitiful souls ? Can I cast my eye on them know dear friend.
I am taken into the old wine celler where tables have been laid out. Their was a mass of items covering every inch. Gazing at each item in front of me I could feel my colour drain and a chill set over me. Only once before had this feeling adorned me but that was decades ago and they could not still exist, “surely”.
Skallins my friend what is your opinion in these things. He turned to face me sullen and gray eyes shrouded in fear, he didn’t need to say anything for I knew what was on his mind as was on mine.

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The fealings drawn from deep within pulling the the emotions too and froe. Drawing from experiences gathered over many years.He endeavours to rise and continue with his daily life,despite his emotive less form. Many days off longing and empty visions have filled his head since her passing. His heart heavy and sluggish still beats within despite himself.
Twenty four years together as husband and wife many travels and great memories but the physical loss is weighing heavily on his soul. Defined as a couple since high school he is struggling through the mire off his grief.
His princess taken at such a young age in a cruel and unexpected fashion. No investigations or questions answered seems the world has just forgotten her entire existence all together. How can such a bright guiding light be dimmed and extinguished so easily without an explination or reason. This battle rages through his mind without a light too guide. Just like a traveler lost on a dark dingy path in unknown territories far from safety with only thier wits and determination too guide them.
Who in his world can now light his path, not even his faith in god himself seems to assist his journey. Dimmer and more lost emotionaly than ever before words just bounce off him none sinking in , no actual consolment or closure insight for this desperate chapter.
In his darkness he prepares his breakfast and readies himself. Consuming his carboard like provisions and wearing his dowdy attire he heads out the door. Head dipped no eye contact made with any soul and the cracks in the pavement they seem caslm like each stride for survival seeming longer than ever before.
The consept off life itself is struggling to surface any joy or fluidity within his mental state. People stop to pass the time of day and see how he is but he is deaf and blind too it all. Standing on the edge off the cliffs of dispare he teeters one stumble and his life metamorphically speaking stops all existence his last breath will be drawn.

The darkness has taken him or is it just normallities excuse to avoid dealing with this situation. Who knows , Who will help and when will clarity appear.

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Dark and dismal
Watery deapths vast
Alone I wallow and swim
Making free use of the abundance
Freely and without shackles
I travel nations transending the globe
No longer entrapped in my fluid home
Second guessed by hollywood
Searched for by scientists
Photographed by those I choose
Do I exist or dont I
Humanity wonders and debates
Myself and mother nature know truths
I am Nessie the enigma
I am Story,legend,truth and fable
Beleive