Posts Tagged ‘physical’

Head held high
Eyes looking forward
Striding through life
Clearing all hurdles
Breaking down walls
Battling foes
Bannishing darkness where ever it grows
The guiding light and warrior brave
The meek and mild servant
Who journey along
This is not bravery
Only the fight
That burns deep inside me
Producing the power of right
Through Turmoils and pains
Growing ever stronger
Live in the shadows no way any longer
These choices are hard
But critical to all for we are survivors
That battle away
For fairer and brighter days for all

The contempt you wield
For my existence
My loyalty too my life
The ability too strip me of dignity
My empowered soul screams
The assistance never arrives
Silent screaming of sinues
The howls from a troubled mind
You smirk at my attempts
To conform to the expected
Normalities guise is tattered
Damb you disfunction
Your mental physicality
Putrifies souls dragging them down
But I will not lie down
I will never cease to strive
I am a lion
The true warrior
Countermanding your orders
Is my right
This will defile your attempts
Throw asunder your reign
And allow me and my fellow sufferers
To live life too the full
And rise high out of your enforced mire pit
To emblazened highs never thought possible
We will win I will lead the contingents
I have and will forever
Dispell and devour your bile
So others do not have too
You may take our bodies and minds
But our freedoms are our own
To shine and make aware our brilliance


The tumbling ramblings
Ideas cascading turbulence
The calmness of the subconcious
Boxes in the spiraling intensities
Transcending to fruition
Via oratory or physical reactions
Penned sonnets and meaningful utterances
Actions of vigour and truths freedom
Attained by mentalities vibrance
Masked by calm exterior looks
Master pieces of brilliance
Personal or public
It matters not
Let’s all bask in its brightness
Take heed and self control
Of the events for our sanity
The muses are many
Un named and invisible to others
We the creative masters of domains


Twisted contusions
Bacterial atomised evils
Viral contensiousness purges
Intersections distort and mire
Systems overloaded and twitching
Fear controls outcomes path
Miss informed sentiments
Quelled by chemical concoctions
Dolled out by uniformed academics
Litteral understanding of purpose
Derived by education and testing
Individuals deviod of feeling
Conceived as statistics and graphs
Attempted freedoms quest
Selfworths attempt of requisition
Paths sub concious seletiveness
Intrusions intersect life
Disability,illness,normality or living

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Isn’t the human race weird ?

The most inteligent and advanced animals on the planet

But still to this day we havent managed to irradicate Bullying,Bigotry,racial hate,Discrimination and physical attacks on the weak and infirm

Over 40 years of Bullying and Daiscriminatory violence I have suffered,Thankfully i am of strong nature aswell as Polite,Intelligent and sharp.

I suppose i am the Cat above i do not see weakness or differance but the Power i hold and confidance i hopefully Project . 

Today i was asked: How i managed it ?

Over many years i have inhanced my internal censors to convert feelings into whatever is needed become self aware and proud of my acheivements.

It all started with what now seems simple ( I am who i am and I accept Me wholey) I found out all i could about my conditions and any limitations I may have because of this.

Developement of self sufficient strategies to cope with whatever came my way,

1) Use of humour

2) Educated self awareness

3) Self Confidance

4) Ability to make fun of Self

5) Correct strong Attitude

6) Preperation to Learn and Adapt

7) Acceptance off Failure

1+4 : A sharp if not slightly warped sence of humour is Imperative too survival as it can aide in the retorts and come backs to most if not all verbal attacks. Aswell as allowing the disarming of situations by making fun of your own failings (It may sound daft but it does help trust me). You have to be senceible though and not over do it as that can sometimes escilate things too quickly.

2) Building up a vast accurate Knowledge base concerning your dissability for example means that the above is then armoured with the correct ammo, Allowing informed tiraids of retorical and bamboozling attacks on any Nianderthol that cares to try attacking in the first place.

3) This is bourne from acheiving goals and managing to adapt self to every situatioion the above helps greatly in boosting and stabalising Confidance. Over time irradicating to the back of your mind the dipressive and dark thoughts. Then you have the tools to self help yourself out of any dark situation and the pride and confidance to handle it .

5,6,7) These are all by products and additions off all above 7+6 go hand in hand and assist in the growth management of your defencive network, 5) is the product acheived at the end of every stage and this too continually utilises 7+6 in its developement.

Over time these all become second nature to the point I know personally that i dont notice the work involved and havent for a long time.

My one failing in many’s eyes is i put myself down too much and at times dont seem as proud and as confidant as i should. Especially when it comes to my looks and how i perceive others perceptions of them. And you know what they are probibly correct in some part but I have grate pride in my entirety and know that i can do what i set my mind too, if others dont like the way i look,Physically or Authstetically then well tough on them,

And if that is my main fault left after all i have been through then Personally i dont think thats all that bad..

You have a wonderful acheivement already too celebrate !!!! You are alive and are here

So this is not easy I know and i do not expect you too head off change everything you are doing for the above but modify and learn how to adapt to your situation properly, As it will and does make life easier on you and harder on the attacker. Defy the neggative promotion of possitive and acceptance of what and who cant be changed.

Trust me you are an amazingly awesome being and the conditions ect that you suffer and cope with that others dont understand and fear are what make us all individually special and superior in everything we do.

Pat yourself on the back reward your dailly survival and remember any hardship bourne makes you resiliant and stronger day by day.

The Nianderthol Brigade are fearful of change unwilling to learn or change and are born of social discrepancies that are 100 of generations in the making in which has formed them into hibitual habits subconcious and detrimental to civilities reign.

  ( A follow up too Proud to be who I am)

        ( The Scots Guards on Parade)

I know how hard it is to be bullied and be made fun of all to well. Personally it made school hard as hell,from Primary (junior) school to University. Having everyone including your peer group on your back day in day out. Kids on your street,block or estate harang your every movement.
  Did I hide in a corner or skulk in shadows !! . No I did not, I done the hardest thing I could have choosen too do. I stood upto the bullies and sooth sayers. Not by violance at first but by using my wit,inteligance and speed of thought. Turning round or manipulating there own words or position, A verbal Karate,Ikido or judo if you like.
  This is by no means easy although once you start you dont realise at the time how hard it is. As I am only seeing know how strong I must have been to attempt this.
  It is not cheek,stupid remarks or idiotic behaviour that you use, it is how ever jokes(about youself) aswell as them,word games,inteligance about the situation and grit and determination.
   Disarming or even nutralising there point of view making others laugh and without realising changing perspectives of you ( who you are, why you are,how you feel and what you will not stand for). There are no classes in this unfortunatly or everyone would be doing it.
  And not all the tormentors or torment will stop , but it will put you in a far better mental,social and interpersonal place. That one day you could be writing this or speaking to others on any subject?

Through my operations I missed a lot of school,but with hard work and help I caught up and passed my exams rising me above these people scared of the unknown(me). I first joined the Army as a Junior Leader (the picture top of page) thats where that chaprter began.
  All these people saying because of my face and that I was a freak and hey you guys (from the Goonies). To name but a few where are they what have they done !!!!.
  A lot I know personally know have made there peice and we have buried hatchets. A lot didnt do well at school,have been in and out of jail(correctional facilities),taken drugs ect. They marvel at my acheivements and wonder why and how !!.
  They have lived with regret,anger and self pitty around there actions. And I forgave them and thanked them for what they had done. With a smile a hug and even a pint or three.

There are those hard lined bigots out there that you can not change or get through too. That is not your fault it is down to them wholely and fully.

Forgive yourself before others and follow your path. Take those friends and believers with you.Leave doubters,haters and spoilers to languish in there own pitty.