Posts Tagged ‘Feeling’

Dazzle the lyricist 

Pugulist of linguistic provocation

Sheets strewn across the floor

Pages bleeding written utterances

Diction detectives clueless agility

Dictionaries burn with scripted speed

Ink like molten lava etched every letter deep

Correspondences spew freely with ease

Contemplation of moods bewildered and blended

Simili and proes subliminally appear

Cascading from mind to page seamless

Attention to details oblivious 

Time flies past without care

The writer immersed in the flow

Letters stories and poetry make

The weapon and cure for all eventualities

Advertisements

I left because of pain
The violence in my brain
Tortured by your intolerance
Damaged by your physicality
A love once born free
Hammered and beaten
Too inches from death
Lost know forever
Trust obliterated from my sole
This beauty did not seek
A beast too brutalise
Her sole or virtue
It wasn’t yours you had no right
Being you does not give you parity
I am a being full of worth
Not a punch bag or torture vessel
I sit with the demons you gave me
I shrug and hide
From any contact with others
Because of you and your brutality
Demonic lusting for powers thrill
You will meet with Karma
And on that day you will fall
As I rise and unfurl my wings once more
Time will heal with care
And once more I will be
Confidant and trusting again
While you battered bruised and alone
Will wilt and die in the hole you have dug

image

I am now 39 years old and have suffered at the hands off bullies from as early as I can remember.
School was deffinatly the hardest junior and senior , walking the street or going out in general were challenging.
The neanderthal brigade of haters and downers were always there trying there best to put me down and turn me into a qwivering wreck.
My smiling face and proud stance walking tall and pushing forward always upsetting somebodies day. But with witty retorts,quick words and being one of the tallest in my class with a sturdy build.
Being alive seemed to be a major problem for for others to handle. For whatever reason they found offensive and a strain on there lifestyle.
Joined the army at 15 and a half  and the officers tried hard to use everthing they could to break me. Name calling to pushing and pulling, then there were some of the fellow recruits at it aswell.
Tough yes but they were turning a boy into a soldier !!, it doesnt condone what they were doing but I kinda understood.

image

As in civilian life there was a good few who stuck by me and others that jst had no problem at all.
All threw my army carreer from 15+ – 26 I had insults and abuse hurreld in my direction from friend and foe world wide.
While on leave some of the die hard haters at home still couldnt resist having ago.
Was it something I had done or a sign I have printed on everything I wore ?.
NO was the simple answer , I received great grades at school, was a good sports person competing at high levels.
While in the army I was obtaining computer degrees and medical degrees with other qualifications and promotion.
Maybe these people didnt think this non normal person deserved to be as good if not better than them. Who knows !!, my Dont Give A F**k Attitude and the, If they are having a go at me someone else is getting a rest thought process, obviously worked well.
image
From 26 I had 2/3 different jobs and everywhere I went I found the neanderthol brigade. I have traveled the world taking them with me “obvioysly” and bringing them home again.
It is daily and hourly but I have gotten to a stage where I dont let on anymore.
It still hurts but I pitty them , I am annoyed at them but keep my anger in check. I try to teach my kids who are aged from 3-12 how to handle there bullies and deal woth the feelings. They will one day realise,they have seen and heard but dont really understand.
I will champion any victim of bullying of any level and any sort.
It is not easy to deal with or to be at the receiving end off what so ever. I am not lucky but built a strong defencive box and network around me. There are still alot that dont beleive or understand what I have been through. From my parents and family to friends and strangers alike. Some even say I make it up and make miuntains out of mole hills.
Because they are blind and deaf and choose not to see !!!. They are just nieve and narrow minded in there lives and that is there way.

image

We have to , 1) Talk about our feelings
2) Tell someone what is happening
3)Be ourselves
4) Be super strong
5) Fight our corner
6) Be free
And most of all continue on our own path,regardless of these people and get the upper hand by being better people and understanding them and there faults for not seeing ours.
I am not overly religious in any way but have read up on most religions and beleifs there off.
The gods regardless of religion all suffered some sort of persicution and ridacule.
Not that we are gods but goes to show that we are not alone or the only ones. And there is hope if beleif from others and ourselves is strong enough.

THERE IS HOPE
IF WE WORK HARD FOR
OURSELVES AND OUR DREAMS