Posts Tagged ‘depressive’

Days feel like minutes,hours like seconds

Misty minded darkness covers all

The smile and fassade weaken 

Tiredness consumes energy faster daily

Those close seem too patronize instead of comfort

Daily tools lag and drag me down

Breathing is a chore simplicity eludes me

Inner strengths hide chortling gayley 

It’s raining outside nature crys too

Hiding the tracks of my own tears

Trying to comfort me in it’s own sadness

Why doesn’t anyone know what too do

Where has the real me gone

Alone in my busy household I sit

Screaming in silence struggling to hold back fear and pain

The light is further away down this never ending tunnel

Train has stalled to far from either end

No energy to stride it out

Once coveted solitude is now my prison

Dark ,dimming existence of the disheveled 

Battle of minds existence.. ……. thoughts

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Haze

Posted: August 5, 2016 in Random
Tags: , , , , ,

Pewring through the murk

Shady figures and outlines

Befall my receptors

Clouding judgement and thought

Simplistic tasks become arduous 

Mind seem like hours 

Hours likened to days

Nerves shot senses scrambled

As the shifting plates 

Of skeletal bone

Slide and shift

I feel and see the haze 

Continual and ensnared

Oh where is the light

I
Myself
The one
Indavidual
The leader
Pervayor of destiny
Champion of heart
Dreamer of dreams
Educated by knowledge
Constructed of humanity
Made of skin and bone
Indifferent to turmoil
Deaf to abusiveness
Set on my path
This journey of life

No matter
How battered
Torn apart
Ravaged by the wolves
With my scars
Battle wounds
Proudly shown to all
My prizes of life
The fuel to my determination
The propulsion too my journey
My indavidualism is the shield
Stronger than any know metal
No weapon can dent
Helmet of indifference
Defends my ears
Putrid hatred spews
Washes over my armour
My soul is untouched

Onward to my destiny
With my weapons
Knowledge,determination
Driven with heart,soul and personality
Loving of self
Awareness of surroundings
Mapping all in front of me
The highest acheivements are mine
Despite all the trials laid in my path
I am a warrior
Leader of men
Inspirational
By actions verbal and physical
Teacher of calm
Educator by example
This is the code of the free
Despite your trials
Live your own life
Your way is the best
Only you know yourself
And what is required too be
Walk the path with prides flag
Held aloft at its highest
Waver not infront of any man

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     In the ocean of life
     I am a wave
     Crashing on the rocks
    Spraying droplets of self
    All around cast into the air
   The spray of trust
   Showering the surrounds
    Tossing myself asunder
   Peace after peace
   Disecting indavidualism
   Societies channels constraining
  The eb and flow tussles
  Ripping my soul from flesh
  Leaving me devoid of feeling
  Dreading the following day
  And what oceanic position
  My body should end
  Why is my life so fluid
  Where will it end
 

Oh insomnia how you haunt me
Turning my life upside down
Eyelids heavy drooping down
Slumber becons
With its soft arms open wide
False sense of security
Lulling my soul
Head lays on pillow
Snuggling low
Counting of sheep
Calming sounds bound
But your devilish imp
Sparks full of life
Reading of books tinker around
Pacing the floor spinning around
Praying for slumber
Defiant to the last
Hours rush forward
Darkness flashes past
Feeling like days
Instead of hours delay
The planet sleeps soundly
As I sit awake
As they all rise rested and fresh
My ghostly form stands rigged in place
Taking on tasks Pilling up fast
Inteviniously fed caffeine
Boosting of self
Fearful of sitting or taking a rest
As day sleep the partner
Of insomnia’s berth

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Why can’t they see
The feelings within me
Dragging me down
Forcing my frown
The depressive shackles
Binding me to my cell
The shroud that masks
With the painted face
Pride of smile
Strength of grace
Draped strong over this
Deshevald dull existence
Fate of sociality

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The light has dimmed
Darkness rolls in
Sombersome state steps in
Clouds fill the void
Heart sinks low
complexions sullen arrive
Ensnared within walls
mentally and physically
Screaming for freedoms smile
The light to return
And free souls and beings alike
When the storm brews
It’s complete and utter mire
Shunning all joy and freedom
That went before it
Please return my happy days
Of light and joy and heated rays
Oh where have you gone

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Thread bare cloths
Teaseld hair
Calassed feet
No shoes too wear
Cuts and abrasions
Cover my skin

Deafening noise
As bobbins flash
Clickity clack
As it passes by
Whir of wheels
Grind of gears
anticipation feeding fears

In I dash
To the darkened midst
Replace the shuttle
Spread the threads
Dash back out
No time to waste
Death awaits if you hesitate

The bobbin boys/girl
Work night and day
Stoor and mirk
Dimness of light
Education dealt on site
Family’s whole work each day
Producing wears for other too bare

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She slips silently forward
The peoples dreams clasped tight
Held in her femininity
Guile and beauty cascade freely
This diminutive figure
Filled with strengths abound
Normally born to masculine for
Confused and bewildered states
Cavort in joviality unaware
Powers held deep within
She is a warrior brave
Emblazened by scars deep
Filled with meanings personal
Consumed by feelings
Driving forward purpose and targets
Calmly she continues on
Winning battle after battle
Collecting friends and influencing outcomes
Without force or attempts
Her silent demeanor
Installs fortitude in other meek souls
This tiger of power and beauty
Survivors dream state
Mindful and ritchious
No longer victimised by the masses
She is alive and free

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Torn to the bone
Skeletal imperfections
Flesh adorned as if concealing
Truths naked aparrencies
Ablaze for all to see
The power of words sharpness
Scalpel like procision
Hurled by attackers
Paralysed by unknown fears
Devolved of understandings guidance
Launching offencive barrages at will
Attempting to slay the beast
Conceived by there small mindedness
Shattered and disembodied
We the victim carry forth
Jumping from sanity too depressive state
Like a well coached Balarina
Defensive walls thrown up
Cast iron masks adorned
Steels sharpened and miss handled
Self worthiness whittled down
Confidences shattered and scattered
Vision impared reliance of self destroyed
Where do we fit and how too survive
The Question floats with abandon
Inconsiderate societies aspersions
Burn indelibly deep
Into contextual and skeletal matter