Posts Tagged ‘depressed’

Staring at the looking Glass

The figure dim looks back

The sullen look features  drooped

No sparkle in the eyes

Sagging skin and contorted format

Changes beyond belief

That sparkle gone and spark put out

No sign of life within

Its astounding how it’s all locked down

And hidden from plain sight

Grasping and fighting to get it back

A battle fought on an hourly round

That smile under pinned and replaced by frowns

The mask adorned as I step out the door

A sterling job is done

For those I see don’t find the real me

As they smile and joke along

Oh how I miss that tender me

Hidden deep inside

I know my strength and personable hew

Will return with a flash and bang

But the waiting kills a part of me 

With every second that pass

The sympathy of others just seems 

Too pound in another nail 

Oh how demoralising can it be 

To see that coffin built

No I am not physically dying

Just the fire inside

So don’t morn or cry for me

Look for the heart inside

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Striking lighting like

Intensifying every twinge 

Sending the sensors into overdrive

Clouding the judgement always
Bolt upright I sit

Corpse like and still

Eyes red and bleary

Darkness consumes my form
Ground hog day starts once more

As my mask fitted

Smiling ,happy and fresh

I tackle the tasks before me
Dulled by medicated chemical’s

Cruising along with programmed tasks

Personality void,robotic motion

Plowing through the day
Homeward to solitude

Mask drops partialy once more

Top up of chemicals

Replenishment of energy

Returning to my easy bed

And the chatter of the pixelated noise box

Consolidation
Introverted respect
Proposal of mentality
Clarity of individualism
Selective confusions polarity
Whirlwind of emotiveness
Displaying
Reactional stammers
Void of naturalisation
Confusion reigns supreme
Whirring mind
Races and skips
Steps missed
Blurred reality touched
Scattered mind set
Escaped memories hide
I am a depressive
A person born
Shunned by you all
Because of fear
I shake uncontrolled
And hide within myself
Screaming too be me

I never wondered where I would be,walking the routes laid for me.
Soaking up the information torrented and imported too my mental store.
Scribbling and noting the starred icons of gold
Tested by self and civilities quests learning too walk and examinations at school
I grow day by day despite of it all taller, wiser and stronger than most.

With contorted features and boggly eye
I stride towards the future with sparkle in my eye
Taking on challenges in every stride
Man made or natural they fall by the side
From strength too strength I charge at light speed
Not dragging my feet with depressive need

With surgeon’s knife and medical aide
My contorted expressions change on my face
Battered and bruised inside and out
I clatter on regardless free of doubt
Knocking me down with your verbilisations or physical charge
Enpowers my nature leading the charge

Through the halls of education and employment i advance
Striking at chances with two strong hands
From home town too deserts I have traveled with joy
Been stacking shelves and throwing bombs
I have love for this planet and the people within
Because of my personality and power within

Too all who have wavered and set road blocks for me
Thanks for the challanges and tasks set by thee
They strengthen my resolve Enpowers my will
They keep me above you with my comfort and skill
I come out at the end complete and bitter free
What have your choices left deep for thee

In reflections repost I praise and idolise
The poor fearful society that tried to repress me
They failed in thier tasks enbittered thier hearts
And most of all lost thier god given right
Bullies and tormentors never do win
If with belief in your self and strong mind,will and heart.

To all in the world down trodden and scared
Stand strong for your future and belief there in
Follow your path cut new routes of your own
Listen and learn avoiding the falls
Thiers only one thing that matters in your own worldly place
Doing your best with love,passion and grace

I
Myself
The one
Indavidual
The leader
Pervayor of destiny
Champion of heart
Dreamer of dreams
Educated by knowledge
Constructed of humanity
Made of skin and bone
Indifferent to turmoil
Deaf to abusiveness
Set on my path
This journey of life

No matter
How battered
Torn apart
Ravaged by the wolves
With my scars
Battle wounds
Proudly shown to all
My prizes of life
The fuel to my determination
The propulsion too my journey
My indavidualism is the shield
Stronger than any know metal
No weapon can dent
Helmet of indifference
Defends my ears
Putrid hatred spews
Washes over my armour
My soul is untouched

Onward to my destiny
With my weapons
Knowledge,determination
Driven with heart,soul and personality
Loving of self
Awareness of surroundings
Mapping all in front of me
The highest acheivements are mine
Despite all the trials laid in my path
I am a warrior
Leader of men
Inspirational
By actions verbal and physical
Teacher of calm
Educator by example
This is the code of the free
Despite your trials
Live your own life
Your way is the best
Only you know yourself
And what is required too be
Walk the path with prides flag
Held aloft at its highest
Waver not infront of any man

Darkness I hate you
You haunt me
Stealing my light
And every shade of my day
Dragging me down
Making me frown
Swirled through my dream state
Sleeping with eyes wide
Trembling with fear
Look like a zombie
Sallow and gray
Depressions indemnabilities
Spaced and distressed
Gone is my ego,confidance and more
Shunned by my family
Pushed into the unknown
Left to flail around
On the baronest of ground
Here is my fight
And dreams of the light
Hope limp and listing
Still hanging around
Praise to the gods
For releaf from my pains
But most of all understanding
By the societies hoards